singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
