Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
