You made me cry and you don't even care
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
vagina is talking i cant
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
