ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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