My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
