pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
