I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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