thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Only a mothe r could love this liver
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
