New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let's get the cat blown out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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