so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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