dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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