Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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