true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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