I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
