Buhtt sex?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We talked him into tasing himself.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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