What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she peed on how many people?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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