I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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