i just sent this text using only my big toe
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
