Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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