The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
