who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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