last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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