I skipped work to stalk him.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
