I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How does one acquire holy water?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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