Your face is a jimmy john
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
