Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
