Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
