This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
