Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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