laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
