Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
