the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
