do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
