So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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