google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
