What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
