I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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