your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
