Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
