he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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