sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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