i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
