Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
