"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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