Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
