Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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