yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
