She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
