having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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