I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
