What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
