i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
