Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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